Christmas with an Eating Disorder : Tips

For many people the holidays are a time of joy and celebration, a time to gather with family and friends and indulge and enjoy the traditional fest. For someone with an eating disorder it can be less than enjoyable as the holiday season are often anxiety ridden and centered around the subject of food, in fact it can be an nightmare to say the least. With anorexia and bulimia present, Christmas hasn't been the usual family fun time of the year for me, instead it has been very lonely and quiet stressful . An eating disorder is a horrid illness, it can be painfully tormenting for the sufferer and their family and friends. I constantly would be filled with guilt that would provoke total avoidance during the Christmas period, last Christmas having been invited down to spend Christmas day down in my aunties for dinner, I was too mentally and physically sick to face Christmas , so I spent it in bed alone, locked up inside my own mind. Hopefully this year will be different and i'll be able to fight through it.  I decided to write a post of helpful tips for coping with the pressure that can arise around Christmas time, my main desire as you already are aware of is to at least help someone, even be it one person. Below is a list of few tips to make the Christmas season more manageable. 

Plan Ahead

If you are visiting family and friends in advance you may consider letting people know how you are feeling, I don't mean tell everyone Bob, Joe and John, just people who you feel comfortable with who will support you on the day. Talk to them about your fears around food so they can try and ease the anxiety and stress, if you don't feel comfortable doing so as I know it can be quiet scary and daunting, another idea would be to write down on a piece of paper how you're feeling and give it too a family member. It can also be helpful to give close ones information to help them understand due to the medias misleading ignorance towards eating disorders. Meal and serving size should be decided in advance, try negotiate a way of your needs been met to prevent stressing out. 

During the Meal

It can be helpful to talk about general light topics during the meal, but be prepared for unnecessary comments about food/weight that may arise, as people don't intend on triggering you it easily can slip someones mind. Have someone supportive sitting next to you during the meal can make it a lot easier. Avoid reacting defensively as closed loved ones have your best interest at heart, as we all have that one relative that says the wrong thing at the wrong time.

After the Meal

I find it helpful to distract yourself after the meal to keep negative thoughts at bay, maybe take a walk with a family member or listen to your favourite music until the feeling of fullness passes, take time out to relax, I promise you this that the feeling will pass you just got to hang in there !!! If you have a period of behaviors do not beat yourself up over it, just put it behind you and move on as mistake's are bound to happen, nobody is perfect. 
*COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO REDUCE HOLIDAY STRESS*
I wish you all the best and hope you all have a very happy Christmas.
Remember you are worth more than a number on a scales.

take care

Stomp Out Suicide

As you all may have known that it was Suicide Awareness day on September the 10th , people were told to write love on the their wrist or to wear yellow to show support for those who have considered or been affected in anyway, and to remember those who have took their own lives. I have been contemplation on weather to write this post or not for the past few days hence why i'm late, I thought if I could at least reach out to one of my readers and make a difference than yes I had to write this post. This post is just going to be the basic outline of what I went through and I felt like I should leave out some personal pieces, in no way am looking for attention by writing this post as I mentioned before that i'm hoping to reach out to people even be it just one.
I'm sure I wasn't born this way but then again I can't seem to remember a time where I was truly happy. I become so good at hiding the pain, the pain that was so dark and overwhelming that my glowing smile and bubbly personality would have tricked you. I can recall the start of my teenage years of been full of hatred towards myself and that's when I fell down the road of self destruction. I just wanted the pain to disappear, every waking minute was occupied by my obsessive thoughts and feelings. 
I felt like I was losing my mind, I began to self harm, it was my way of releasing the pain within me. It allowed me to shut off from the world. I started to engage in other behaviors such as an eating disorder which to this day is a struggle, cracks began to appear in my mask. My friends did try to reach out and help but I refused to let anyone in, my eating disorder had such a hold on me that I pushed everyone out of my life, I even stopped going to school. 
Each day was a struggle to get by, I wanted to kill myself. Every night I would lay down and realise how pointless and lonely my life had become, the thoughts and plans would start to brew. One night I broke, the adrenalin in me was over boiling and the impulse to self destruct was too extreme, I over dosed on sleeping pills. I was so scared, I panicked, luckily enough I text-ed my best friend who insisted I woke up my parents in which I did. The trip to the hospital was a blur but I woke up a day later and was sent to the psych hospital as I was still a danger to myself. 
So here I am now 20 years old writing this post, I am now not ashamed to talk about my issues, yet I still struggle and fall backwards on occasions but i'm learning to work through my problems one baby step at a time. Bit by bit i'm I am changing and growing stronger, it's a slow process but a well worthy one. I believe that I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for all that I've experienced, I now have the ability to make a change in which I hope to raise awareness for mental health.
Suicide is not to be taking lightly, if you feel suicidal or you know of someone who is, I want you to know that help is available and recovery is possible. Please don't be afraid to seek for help, you deserve the help you need to get back to living life to the fullest. Nobody just wakes up one Sunday morning and becomes depressed, it's a mental illness. I know how easy it is to start blaming yourself but hand on heart it is not your fault, I promise things do and will get better. I am always just a message away so don't ever feel like you are on your own, I will also leave a list below of some helplines. STAY STRONG.

• Samaritans

• 08457 90 90 90 (UK)

1850 60 90 90 (ROI)

National Suicide Prevention 

1 – 800 – 273 – TALK (USA)

Life Line

13 11 14 (AUS)

Life Line

(09) 5222 999 within Auckland

0800 543 354 outside Auckland