Christmas with an Eating Disorder : Tips

For many people the holidays are a time of joy and celebration, a time to gather with family and friends and indulge and enjoy the traditional fest. For someone with an eating disorder it can be less than enjoyable as the holiday season are often anxiety ridden and centered around the subject of food, in fact it can be an nightmare to say the least. With anorexia and bulimia present, Christmas hasn't been the usual family fun time of the year for me, instead it has been very lonely and quiet stressful . An eating disorder is a horrid illness, it can be painfully tormenting for the sufferer and their family and friends. I constantly would be filled with guilt that would provoke total avoidance during the Christmas period, last Christmas having been invited down to spend Christmas day down in my aunties for dinner, I was too mentally and physically sick to face Christmas , so I spent it in bed alone, locked up inside my own mind. Hopefully this year will be different and i'll be able to fight through it.  I decided to write a post of helpful tips for coping with the pressure that can arise around Christmas time, my main desire as you already are aware of is to at least help someone, even be it one person. Below is a list of few tips to make the Christmas season more manageable. 

Plan Ahead

If you are visiting family and friends in advance you may consider letting people know how you are feeling, I don't mean tell everyone Bob, Joe and John, just people who you feel comfortable with who will support you on the day. Talk to them about your fears around food so they can try and ease the anxiety and stress, if you don't feel comfortable doing so as I know it can be quiet scary and daunting, another idea would be to write down on a piece of paper how you're feeling and give it too a family member. It can also be helpful to give close ones information to help them understand due to the medias misleading ignorance towards eating disorders. Meal and serving size should be decided in advance, try negotiate a way of your needs been met to prevent stressing out. 

During the Meal

It can be helpful to talk about general light topics during the meal, but be prepared for unnecessary comments about food/weight that may arise, as people don't intend on triggering you it easily can slip someones mind. Have someone supportive sitting next to you during the meal can make it a lot easier. Avoid reacting defensively as closed loved ones have your best interest at heart, as we all have that one relative that says the wrong thing at the wrong time.

After the Meal

I find it helpful to distract yourself after the meal to keep negative thoughts at bay, maybe take a walk with a family member or listen to your favourite music until the feeling of fullness passes, take time out to relax, I promise you this that the feeling will pass you just got to hang in there !!! If you have a period of behaviors do not beat yourself up over it, just put it behind you and move on as mistake's are bound to happen, nobody is perfect. 
*COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO REDUCE HOLIDAY STRESS*
I wish you all the best and hope you all have a very happy Christmas.
Remember you are worth more than a number on a scales.

take care

Dear Santa, I've been an awfully good girl ...

Whats on your wishlist ?

Weekend Wrap Up

I love when the leaves are scattered on the ground, it's breath taken / I was such a happy bunny when my ts came in the post, 2 great bands to say the least !! /  Treated myself / My xmas tree / Me & Graham just before we headed out on the town / I'm in love with my Chloe esq boots / Rimmel Kate Moss Lipstick in 01 / My stiletto nails that I recently bit off ouccchh / My monthly fix of Elle / Nice skinny latte after a hard days work / The lovely Sarah getting her makeup done by Niamh Martin from Nima Brushes at the Christmas blogger meet up / Emma me & Ellie I love them 2 girls / A Long Island Ice Tea with all the bbloggers / I'm loving this necklace I bought in NewLook recently / James Arthur ooofffft enough said, but i'm extremely delighted he won the XFactor tonight, i'm such a big fan / Penguins are my favourite animal so I just had to buy these adorable pjs. 

Purple Smokey Eye - Night Out

Ello lovelies it's me again, I thought i'd start doing a 'face of the day' post since I am a trainee Make-up artist and love creating different looks and experimenting with makeup as makeup is my art. I had lost my mojo for awhile but it's safe to say I've found it again, praise the lord !!! So this is the makeup I wore out the weekend for a night on the town, it's a smokey purple look which I love, when I go out I usually like to wear quiet heavy looks than what i'd wear for day time. Please do excuse the dodgy big eyebrow, long story short I've giving up hope that i'll wake up with Cara Delevigne fab eyebrows, I know eyebrows are suppose to be sisters not twins but mine where taking the mic one been quiet high arched than the other, so I sorted them out eventually. If you'd like to see more FOTD posts or tutorials please do give me some feed back so I know what my readers are interested in reading. 
It's officially December, Santa is coming in 19 sleeps (yes I checked my xmas count down app on my Iphone) I just love everything about xmas, it's such a magical time of year to spend with friends and family. That reminds me I really need to get my finger out and start the big crimbo shop, where do I begin *sighs* I get so side tracked and end up buying literally everything I put my finger on. Oh and i'll be getting a new camera for xmas so no more dodgy Iphone pictures, about time !!! I've sent my Internationale blogger secret Santa package that the lovely Sandra has organized, I'm so excited for my package to get to my secret Santa  fingers crossed she likes her gifts.

Products Used :

Face 

Primer : Gosh Velvet Touch Foundation Primer

Colour Correcter Cream : Veil Cover Cream

Loose Powder : Hot Totty

Foundation : Nixie Cream Foundation 

Concealer : Mac Select Cover Up

Blush : Mac Style 

Bronzer : Benefit Hula

Highlight : Cheek Stick

Eyes

Lid : Essence Gel Eyeliner in Black, Hot Totty Black eye shadow 

Crease & Lower Lash line :  Hot Totty Purple Loose Pigment

Brow Bone &Inner Tear Duct : Cheek Stick, Hot Totty White Shimmer Eye Shadow

Water Line : Essence Gel Eyeliner in Black

Mascara : Maybelline The Falsies

Eye Brows : Essence Gel Eyeliner in Black

Lips

Balm : Carmex

Lip Liner : Gosh in Nugget

Lip Stick : Maybelline Luminous Beige

Lip Gloss : Revlon Super Lustrous Lip Gloss in 04 Nude Lustre

Did you enjoy this look ?

Get To Know Me

Hey Lovelies I've seen this tag on loads of blogs, I thought i'd jump on board and for you guys to get to know me better. 
1. Are you named after anyone ?
 My middle name is Rose after my granny Rose.
2. When was the last time you cried ? Last Thursday in therapy I found myself tearing up.
3. Do you have kids ? I've two fur babies called Lola and Riley.
4. If you were around person, would you be friends with yourself ? Who knows, depends.
5. Do use sarcasm a lot ? Do I what ? Sarcasm is my many language.
6. Will you ever bungee jump ? Hell no, I can't deal with climbing a ladder let alone jumping from a plane.
7. Whats the first thing you notice about people ? I take notice of peoples eyes, I just love eyes. I also notice peoples style.
8. Whats your favourite cereal ? It would have to be Multi Grain Oat Granola and Wheatabix, I have to have my Wheatabix heated up with 2 spoons of canderel. 
9. What is your eye colour ? My eyes are a dark blue. 
10. Scary movies or happy endings ? scary movies !!!! happy endings make me sick, I am such a Grinch lol.
11. Favourite Smell ? Right now i'm wearing Lady GaGa's perfume and it smells divine. I love the smell of cinnamon, it reminds me of Christmas, I also love the smell of cherries, it brings me right back to the days of volunteering in Greece. What girl doesn't love the smell of Lynx, I just melt when a fella smells so good.
12. Summer or Winter ? This is an easy one, winter of course. Everything about winter is just perfect.
13. Computer or TV ? I mostly watch everything online but I love watching Netflix's on the TV. 
14. Whats the furthest you've ever been away from home ? It would have been Turkey.
15. Do you have any special talents ? I can put my whole fist in my mouth, seriously, my mother is so proud of me. No really, I am quiet a creative thinker, I find the beauty in everything, I suppose that is one of my  talents. 
16. Where were you born ? In the "lovely" Drogheda, Co. Louth, Ireland.
17. What are your hobbies ? Blogging, Shopping, Reading, Walking, (quiet standard and boring) 
18. Do you have any pets ? Pets ? NO I have 3 fur friends, foxy (pom), Lola and Riley (shih tzu).
19. Favourite Films ? The Wedding Singer, The Note Book, The Sawshank Redemption, Pulp Fiction, The Dark Knight, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Forest Gump, Back To The Future, The Pianist, The Green Mile, Finding Nemo, Toy Story, Pinocchio, 18 Again, Hocus Pocus, Flash Dance, The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas  The Magdalene Sisters, In America, Chicago, This Is England 86, Green Street, Sister Act, Saw, The Hangover, The Hunger Games, Transformers, Pride and Prejudiced, Iron Man. (Oh the list goes on)
20. Do you have any siblings ? Yes I have one brother who is 13 years old and I had a sister Chloe who would have been 18 this year.
20 pointless facts about myself, hope you enjoyed.

Tuesday Tips - Zit Zapper

Looking for the perfect spot terminator ? well you can put an end to your search as I've found the perfect potion. Sudocrem ?.... is that not for nappy rash, you say ? Well think again my dear, this cult product is loved by many, even the lovely Cheryl Cole swears by it. I can't live without this little gem of a product.
It is a disinfectant with a mild anesthetic and is hypoallergenic and antibacterial.Sudocrem originated from Dublin (yaaaaay the paddies) in the 1931 and still is as popular as ever. Sudocrem is best used at night because of its thick creamy consistency, I usually leave it over night. I have been using sudocrem on a regular basis when my skin decides to start hating me and manages to leave a nasty breakout which seems to be happening the past week. I currently have a very attractive face full of sudocrem.

 Haven't tried sudocrem yet? I insist you rush out to your local pharmacy or supermarket NOW and see what the fuss is about.
Whats your thoughts on sudocrem?

October Favs

Hey everyone, it's about time I wrote a post, I've been itching to get back into posting but typical of my luck I have had problems with accessing my account. So here's a very late October Faves post, my god it's nearly December already *gulp* I must get into gear and start my Xmas shopping before it's too late. I have been using my Iphone camera hence the awful quality but i'm going to purchases a new camera soon. Oh and i've hit the big 1 0 0, thank you to all my followers, it means the world to me that actually someone out there reads my blog. I am going to have a give away to mark getting to 100 so please stay tuned.

• Naked Palette 2 - I am so glad I purchased this as I've been drooling over the palette for quiet some time but I also was quiet reluctant to buy it. The Naked Palette 2 is more geared towards cool under tones which is perfect for me as I am fair skinned and cool toned, I also prefer the packaging than Naked Palette 1. I absolutely adore and treasure this palette, the shades are very classy and flattering, although it is pricey  I would recommend you go out and buy it now !!!
• Mint Carmex - I love the Carmex brand like no other, this is my go to lip balm and it is by far the best I've come across, it keeps my lips soft and and moisturised especially in the winter when my lips tend to dry out due to the weather. The mint scent is my favourite and with a high SPF of 30 it's defiantly is a winner for me.
• Inglot DuraLine - This is an excellent product as you can create your own eyeliner buy mixing pigments and I find it enhances the colour. If your gel eyeliner dries up a few drops of duraline and you're good to go again. The only down side is the glass bottle so you must be careful. 
• Essence Colour & Go - I love Essences nail varnish, cheap and cheerful but does the job nicely. You need 2 coats for full opacity but at 1.69euro you can't go wrong.
• La Riche Directions - As I have mad orange coloured hair I find that La Riche Directions gives me the intense vibrant colour I am looking for, I usually bleach my hair and apply Tangerine and walaaa I have orange highlighter hair. The dye is semi permittee and is very conditioning, you get a fair amount of product in the tub and a reasonable price. 

Have you tired any of the products mentioned ? Whats your fave products of the month ?

onwards and upwards

Gold earring- pennies / Crystal chain - Topshop sale / Spike bracelet - pennies / Cross & jewel necklace - Topshop sale / Friendship bracelet - Topshop. 

Brolly, slipper socks, xmas socks - Pennies.

La Roche Posay - Boots / Ariel Lipsmacker - Pennies / Astral - Boots.

Mens t - pennies.

Beige Cords, Grey Skinnies - Pennies.

Grey Cotton Skirt - Topshop.

Cream T, Grey Snood - Pennies.

Green Knit Cardi - Pennies.

Wool & Knitting Needles - Local Craft Shop.

Hello Lovelies, I am back yet again :) I'm completely pooped so this is just a quick update. The past month has been pretty rough, i've just been discharged from hospital after a 2 week stay which was emotionally draining to say the least. My mood plummeted to an all time low and my behaviours were overly destructive.Before anyone jumps down my throat saying i'm seeking attention that is the last thing I want, I am an honest person and speaking about my struggles is something I am not afraid of doing. I want people to be able to speak freely about mental health issues and not to be ashamed of doing so. I am currently been taking off all my meds and i'm starting DBT therapy and group, i'm feeling much better than I did but i'm extremely struggling with my eating disorder right now. I need to keep reminding myself that Rome wasn't built in a day. 

My boyfriend and I called it day after nearly 2 years together, it ended on good terms but I feel kind of heartbroken about the whole situation, there is so much left unsaid and I need closure. It's funny how you think you know someone but then unexpectedly they change into someone you never thought they'd be. 

So I treated myself to some retail therapy and decided to buy a few essentials from Pennies, I am literally a walking advert for Pennies. I really love the 80s esque t shirt I picked up from the mens section in Pennies. The Ariel lip balm was an impulse buy and I am actually happy I picked it up in the end. I  purchased some woolly essentials to keep me snug and cosy during the winter weather, who can't resist a chunky knitted snood. Yes I bought knitting needles and wool please don't judge me lol, who would have thought I would be sitting in on a Thursday night knitting by the fire and slurping my cup of tea. While I was in inpatient a nurse suggested to me to take up knitting as a distraction method. Sorry about the awful quality of the photos , I am in the process of purchasing a new camera. 

PUPS && UPDATE

Hey everyone, I know it's been awhile since I last posted but I really needed a break as my head wasn't in it, I don't want to sound 'oh poor me' I just want to be honest as to where I'm at, but I have had an awful time with depression the past few weeks which is getting the better of me right now, as I have mentioned before I'm recovering from an eating disorder but right now my weight is really bring me down. I can't bring myself to leave the house on my own in fear of what other people think and I know realistically people do judge but not to the point were they pick out every flaw and scrutinise, with that the weight gain as a result of not exercising is quiet overwhelming. I'm stuck at a cross road but hopefully I can fight through this because I don't want to go down the self destructive road again. I won't be posting any OFTD posts for awhile until I feel a bit more confident in myself.

Moving on, I'm glad I got that out of the way, hope you all enjoyed the vlog of the puppy's, they are the most cutest little bundle of fluffs. They all are so different in looks and personality, I've become so attached to them, I'll be heart broken once they are gone. Tomorrow is my 21st birthday, I don't know how I feel about this, it's pretty scary getting 'old' and not knowing what the future holds, in another sense i'm shocked to have made it this far in to adult hood. 'it all goes down hill after 21' please say it isn't true. Oh I forgot to mention that I got my highlighter orange colour in my hair again, I love it, it's so vibrant, it's about time I got rid of the dodgy multi orangy/red. As I mentioned in the video if there is any post you would like me to do more of please just leave a comment, thanks.

Don't You Worry Child

Shirt - Primark

Disco Pants - River Island

Pumps - Primark

Bag - Primark

Fox Tail - Nasty Gal

Brooch - Charity Shop

So today I decided to be the top sister I am and treat my brother to Eddie Rockets, not to say I was craving an Oreo Milkshake. If you've never been to Eddie Rockets it's an American dinner with amazing food, go check it out guy's. Can you tell I love Primark lol. I also picked a few bits in boots which will be in a haul video very soon. I had a nice day bonding with my brother and I bet he just loved been dragged in and out of shops. I thought I show you what my brother wore on the day as well, enjoy.

cool runners !!!

M.A.C's 'Snob' Lipstick

Hi guy's I've been lusting over one of Mac's best sellers 'Snob' for awhile now and I've finally gone and purchased it. Snob is described by Mac as a "lady like mauve" which can not be more accurate. I have not stopped wearing Snob ever since I have bought it, it's a must for all you pale pink lovers out there. I am obsessed with Mac lipsticks and find that they are worth every penny. Snob is a pale lavender / pink with a satin finish which is semi matte but conditioning with an intense colour. This pretty pastel pink is a go to lipstick that looks amazing with a smokey purple eye or just worn on it's own without eye make up to instantly give you the wow factor. This shade works best on fair to tanned skin. If you don't own Snob I insist you go out and buy it now because you won't be disappointed that's for sure.

What's your favourite Mac Lipstick ?

Stomp Out Suicide

As you all may have known that it was Suicide Awareness day on September the 10th , people were told to write love on the their wrist or to wear yellow to show support for those who have considered or been affected in anyway, and to remember those who have took their own lives. I have been contemplation on weather to write this post or not for the past few days hence why i'm late, I thought if I could at least reach out to one of my readers and make a difference than yes I had to write this post. This post is just going to be the basic outline of what I went through and I felt like I should leave out some personal pieces, in no way am looking for attention by writing this post as I mentioned before that i'm hoping to reach out to people even be it just one.
I'm sure I wasn't born this way but then again I can't seem to remember a time where I was truly happy. I become so good at hiding the pain, the pain that was so dark and overwhelming that my glowing smile and bubbly personality would have tricked you. I can recall the start of my teenage years of been full of hatred towards myself and that's when I fell down the road of self destruction. I just wanted the pain to disappear, every waking minute was occupied by my obsessive thoughts and feelings. 
I felt like I was losing my mind, I began to self harm, it was my way of releasing the pain within me. It allowed me to shut off from the world. I started to engage in other behaviors such as an eating disorder which to this day is a struggle, cracks began to appear in my mask. My friends did try to reach out and help but I refused to let anyone in, my eating disorder had such a hold on me that I pushed everyone out of my life, I even stopped going to school. 
Each day was a struggle to get by, I wanted to kill myself. Every night I would lay down and realise how pointless and lonely my life had become, the thoughts and plans would start to brew. One night I broke, the adrenalin in me was over boiling and the impulse to self destruct was too extreme, I over dosed on sleeping pills. I was so scared, I panicked, luckily enough I text-ed my best friend who insisted I woke up my parents in which I did. The trip to the hospital was a blur but I woke up a day later and was sent to the psych hospital as I was still a danger to myself. 
So here I am now 20 years old writing this post, I am now not ashamed to talk about my issues, yet I still struggle and fall backwards on occasions but i'm learning to work through my problems one baby step at a time. Bit by bit i'm I am changing and growing stronger, it's a slow process but a well worthy one. I believe that I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for all that I've experienced, I now have the ability to make a change in which I hope to raise awareness for mental health.
Suicide is not to be taking lightly, if you feel suicidal or you know of someone who is, I want you to know that help is available and recovery is possible. Please don't be afraid to seek for help, you deserve the help you need to get back to living life to the fullest. Nobody just wakes up one Sunday morning and becomes depressed, it's a mental illness. I know how easy it is to start blaming yourself but hand on heart it is not your fault, I promise things do and will get better. I am always just a message away so don't ever feel like you are on your own, I will also leave a list below of some helplines. STAY STRONG.

• Samaritans

• 08457 90 90 90 (UK)

1850 60 90 90 (ROI)

National Suicide Prevention 

1 – 800 – 273 – TALK (USA)

Life Line

13 11 14 (AUS)

Life Line

(09) 5222 999 within Auckland

0800 543 354 outside Auckland

NAILS OF THE DAY

Good afternoon guy's, so here is to my first Nails of the Day post yaaaay, I'll keep this post short and sweet for you lot. So today iv'e been wearing Hollywood glamour inspired nails. I applied a base coat of Rimmel London 5in1 Nail Treat, I then applied a coat of Essence's in 114 fame fatal and then I left my nails until they were fully dry so I could then apply a top coat of Rimmel London 5in1. The photo does not do the polish any justice, I adore Essence's nail varnish's, at €1.29 each and a bundle of generous colour's you can't go wrong.

What colour nail's have you been wearing ?

Are We Strong Enough To Break The Past.

Shirt - Pennys (Primark)

Skinny Jeans - Pennys (Primark)

Creepers - Amazon

Bag - Pennys (Primark)

Fox Tail - Nasty Gal